How to Say Please in Chinese
The word for "please" in Chinese is 请 (qǐng) — and if you use it the way you use "please" in English, you will sound stiff, distant, and slightly odd to everyone you know. That is the whole story of this page. Chinese does not sprinkle one politeness word through requests; it builds politeness into the shape of the sentence — with openers like 麻烦你 (má fan nǐ), question frames like 可以…吗 (kě yǐ … ma), softening tags like 好吗 (hǎo ma), and the pronoun 您 (nín). 请 is real and useful, but it lives mostly in fixed expressions and formal register. Get the structures below and you'll be politer in Mandarin than any amount of 请 can make you.
Please — but really "may I ask you to…" / "kindly."
A verb, not a garnish. It goes at the front of a request (请坐 "please sit"), never at the end like English "…, please."
Formal-leaning- 请 (qǐng) is the dictionary answer, but it is a verb meaning "to request / to invite," and it fronts a sentence: 请坐, 请进, 请问 — never "…, 请" the way English tacks on "please."
- The everyday "please" is 麻烦你 (má fan nǐ) — literally "trouble you." It's what you actually say to a colleague, a shopkeeper, or a stranger who has to go out of their way.
- Turning a request into a question is the single most polite move: 可以…吗？ ("can I…?"), 能不能…？ ("could you…?"), or a 好吗？ tag on the end.
- Overusing 请 with friends and family reads as cold — it puts formal distance between you, which in Chinese is its own kind of rudeness (见外, jiàn wài: treating an insider like an outsider).
- The data backs it up: across the 658 graded stories in our catalog, 请 doesn't crack the top 150 characters, while 好, 可, 以, 能 and 吗 all do. Politeness is carried by the structure words, not by 请.
Why isn't 请 sprinkled through Chinese the way "please" is in English?
Because English and Chinese solve the same problem with different tools. English politeness runs largely through a single lexical marker: "please" bolts onto any imperative and converts it from an order into a request. "Pass the salt" is rude; "pass the salt, please" is fine. Chinese has no such bolt-on. Instead, a Mandarin speaker adjusts the grammar: they turn a command into a yes/no question, add a hedge about the trouble they're causing, tack on a softening particle, or switch the pronoun from 你 to 您. The request gets longer and less direct — that's the politeness.
Here's the measurement that made this concrete for me. Our story catalog is deliberately full of everyday, human, conversational Chinese: people ordering food, asking for help, talking to shopkeepers and parents and bosses. If 请 worked like "please," it would be everywhere. It isn't. Measured across the 658 graded stories in the Literate Chinese catalog (141,730 hanzi occurrences, July 2026), 请 does not appear in the top 150 characters at all — it occurs fewer than 203 times in the entire corpus. Meanwhile 好 appears 977 times (rank 24), 可 720 times (rank 33), 以 574 times (rank 47), 能 349 times (rank 74), and 吗 223 times (rank 138). The characters that build 可以…吗 and 能不能 and 好吗 are ten to twenty times more common than the character that means "please." That's not an accident of our writing — it's how requests get made.
So the mental model to carry: Chinese scales politeness with the opener and the sentence frame, chosen by social distance and by how big the favor is. Small favor from an intimate? Just ask, warmly. Real favor from a colleague? 麻烦你. Something from a stranger who must go out of their way? 麻烦您 or a question frame. Formal, written, or service context? Now 请 earns its place.
请 in fixed expressions: where it genuinely belongs
请 is not obsolete — it's specialized. It lives in a set of high-frequency fixed expressions, most of them either service register (staff to customer) or host register (you welcoming someone into your space). Learn these as whole units and you'll never misuse 请.
Excuse me, may I ask… — the opener before any question to a stranger.
The most useful 请 phrase in the language. 请问，洗手间在哪里？ "Excuse me, where's the bathroom?" In Taiwan you'll hear 不好意思 (bù hǎo yì si) at least as often for the same job.
NeutralPlease, have a seat.
Host register: you say it to a guest, a teacher says it to a class. Said to you, it's a small courtesy — no reply needed beyond 谢谢.
HostPlease come in.
The answer to a knock at your door, and what a shopkeeper says as you hover in the entrance.
HostEnjoy your meal — said by the person serving it.
Literally "please use slowly." Staff say it to you; you don't say it back. The correct response is 谢谢 or a nod.
ServiceOne moment, please.
Phone calls, counters, front desks. The casual version between equals is 等一下 (děng yī xià) — and note the 一 shifts to second tone in speech: děng yí xià.
ServicePlease give me your guidance — a set formula on first meeting, especially at work.
Formal and slightly ceremonial; common when you join a team or are introduced in a business setting. Taiwan uses it readily; on the Mainland it can sound a touch bookish outside formal introductions.
FormalNotice the pattern: in every one of these, 请 comes first and is followed by a verb. That's the grammar of 请 — 请 + verb, addressed to the listener. It cannot float to the end of a sentence, and it cannot stand alone as an English-style pleading "Please!" (for that, see 拜托 below).
How do you ask someone for a favor? 麻烦你 is the real everyday "please"
If you take one phrase from this page, take this one. 麻烦你 literally means "trouble you," and it does the job English does with "please" plus "sorry to bother you" plus "if you don't mind" — all in three syllables. It acknowledges that you're imposing, which is exactly the social move that makes a request polite in Chinese.
Could you… / sorry to trouble you… — the default polite request.
麻烦你帮我看一下。 "Could you take a look at this for me?" Works with colleagues, classmates, shop staff, neighbors — almost anyone who isn't family.
EverydayThe same, one notch up — for elders, customers, officials, anyone senior.
您 is the respectful "you" (你 with a 心 "heart" underneath). Swapping 你 for 您 is a complete politeness upgrade on its own, and it costs you nothing.
FormalSorry, could I bother you for a second?
一下 ("a bit") shrinks the imposition and is a politeness workhorse all by itself. Citation tones are yī xià; in speech the 一 becomes second tone: yí xià.
CasualExcuse me / sorry to bother you — the softest way to open a request to a stranger.
In Taiwan this is the all-purpose opener, apology, and attention-getter; it's common on the Mainland too. 不好意思，可以帮我一个忙吗？
EverydayExcuse me / if you'd be so kind — northern Mainland flavor.
Very Beijing. Used to squeeze past someone, ask directions, or request a small hand. A Taiwanese speaker will understand it but almost certainly won't say it.
Mainland (northern)Coming through / excuse me — for getting past people.
The everyday choice on a crowded Taipei MRT car; also used in the Mainland, where 劳驾 or 让一下 (ràng yī xià) compete with it.
Common in TaiwanPlease — the pleading kind. "Come on, do me this one."
This, not 请, is the standalone English "Please!" It can be sincere (拜托你了 "I'm counting on you") or exasperated (拜托～ "oh, come on"). Extremely frequent in Taiwan.
CasualHow do you soften a request into a question?
The other half of Chinese politeness is grammatical: don't tell, ask. Three frames cover nearly everything, and none of them contains 请.
May I sit here? — the 可以…吗？ frame for permission and light requests.
Two third tones in a row means 可以 comes out as ké yǐ in natural speech — that's third-tone sandhi, not a mistake in your head.
EverydayCould you do me a favor? — the 能不能…？ frame, noticeably gentler than a flat statement.
The A-not-A question shape is itself a hedge: you've built the "no" into the question, so refusing costs the other person nothing. (一个 is spoken yí ge.)
EverydayShut the window for me, would you? — the …好吗？ tag that turns a command into a request.
好吗 is the closest structural equivalent English "please" has in Chinese — and it goes at the end of the sentence, exactly where you wanted to put 请.
EverydayA fourth tool is smaller than any of these and does more work than all of them: 一下 (yī xià). Bolted onto any verb, it makes the action sound brief and cheap — 看一下 "take a quick look," 等一下 "hang on a sec," 帮我拿一下 "grab that for me a moment." With friends, a bare verb plus 一下 is already polite enough. With anyone else, front it with 麻烦你.
How do you order food politely in Chinese?
This is where learners reach for 请 hardest and need it least. In a Chinese restaurant or a milk-tea shop, the polite formula is simple, direct, and 请-free: state what you want, add 谢谢. Being crisp is not rude here — dithering while a queue builds behind you is.
I'll have one of these, thanks.
The 谢谢 at the end is doing the politeness work your English brain assigns to "please." Say it every time. (一个 is pronounced yí ge in speech.)
EverydayI'd like… — one degree softer than 我要.
"Would like" instead of "want," same as English. Third-tone sandhi again: wó xiǎng yào when spoken at speed.
EverydaySorry to bother you — I'd like this one.
Use when you're flagging down busy staff or changing an order. This is the polite-customer register that actually exists.
EverydayPlease give me a pair of chopsticks.
A legitimate 请: a small direct request to service staff. The friendlier everyday version drops it — 不好意思，可以再给我一双筷子吗？
ServiceIf food vocabulary is where you're headed next, the ordering words themselves are collected in our Chinese food vocabulary guide, and the ways to say something tastes good are in how to say delicious in Chinese.
Which "please" should you use? A comparison table
Read this as a decision table: find your situation in column three.
| Phrase | Pinyin | When to use it | Formality | Region |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 请 + verb | qǐng | Fixed expressions, signs, service and host register | Formal | Both |
| 请问 | qǐng wèn | Opening a question to a stranger | Neutral | Both |
| 麻烦你 | má fan nǐ | Any real favor from a non-intimate | Neutral | Both |
| 麻烦您 | má fan nín | Elders, customers, officials, anyone senior | Formal | Both |
| 不好意思 | bù hǎo yì si | Interrupting, flagging staff, small impositions | Neutral | Both (dominant in Taiwan) |
| 可以…吗？ | kě yǐ … ma | Asking permission | Neutral | Both |
| 能不能…？ | néng bu néng | Asking a favor that can be refused | Neutral | Both |
| …好吗？ | hǎo ma | Softening a command you've already said | Casual–neutral | Both |
| …一下 | yī xià | Shrinking any request to "just a sec" | Casual | Both |
| 拜托 | bài tuō | Pleading, or friendly exasperation | Casual | Both (very frequent in Taiwan) |
| 劳驾 | láo jià | Squeezing past, small favors from strangers | Neutral | Northern Mainland |
| 借过 | jiè guò | Getting through a crowd | Casual | Everyday in Taiwan; used in the Mainland too |
What does 请 actually mean? A character breakdown
请 (traditional 請) is built from two parts, and knowing them fixes the usage permanently.
- 言 / 讠 (yán) — the "speech" radical, squeezed to three strokes on the left in simplified. It marks characters about speaking: 说 (say), 语 (language), 谢 (thank), 话 (speech).
- 青 (qīng) — "blue-green," here supplying the sound. 青 qīng → 请 qǐng, the same way it gives 清 qīng (clear), 情 qíng (feeling), 晴 qíng (sunny).
So 请 is fundamentally a speech act: to ask, to request, to invite. That original meaning is alive in modern Chinese and trips up learners constantly:
小美想学做饭，所以请妈妈教她。
Xiaomei wanted to learn to cook, so she asked her mum to teach her.
No "please" anywhere — here 请 is a plain verb, "asked (someone to do something)." It also means "to treat" someone: 我请你吃饭 (wǒ qǐng nǐ chī fàn) is "dinner's on me," not "please eat." And 请客 (qǐng kè) means picking up the bill. One character, three jobs: request, invite, treat. "Please" is only the shadow it casts in English translation.
Mistakes to avoid
- Putting 请 at the end of a sentence. "Give me the menu, please" does not become 给我菜单，请. 请 is a verb that governs what follows it: 请给我菜单. If you want something at the end, it's 谢谢 or 好吗.
- Using 请 with friends and family. 请你帮我一下 to a close friend lands like "kindly assist me" — it's not rude exactly, it's distancing, and Chinese has a word for that failure: 见外 (jiàn wài), treating an insider like an outsider. To a friend, just ask: 帮我看一下. To your mum, 请 would be genuinely strange.
- Reading 请 as softening a command. 请安静 (qǐng ān jìng, "please be quiet") is still an instruction from someone with authority — teachers, flight attendants, signage. Saying it to a peer sounds like you're issuing a directive, not making a request. Use 可以小声一点吗？ instead.
- Mistaking 我请你 for an invitation to eat. Learners hear 我请你吃饭 and answer "谢谢，我不饿." The speaker was offering to pay. The reply you want is 好啊，谢谢! (or, if you'd like to fight over the bill in the traditional manner, 不行，这次我请.)
- Compensating with 谢谢 in the wrong place. Politeness in Chinese is asymmetric: thanking service staff is normal, but thanking close family for ordinary acts can sound cold in exactly the way 请 does — the same 见外 problem. There's more on that calibration in how to say thank you in Chinese.
The cultural logic: politeness by distance, not by formula
The organizing idea behind all of this is 客气 (kè qi) — literally "guest air," the courtesy you extend to someone who isn't family. Chinese politeness is calibrated by relationship distance, and the markers you use announce where you've placed the other person. 请 and 您 place them far away and above you. 麻烦你 places them at a friendly working distance. Nothing at all — a bare request, said warmly — places them close. That's why 别客气 ("don't be polite") is a compliment when a host says it to you, and why 你太客气了 ("you're being too polite") is a gentle correction, not praise.
None of this means Chinese speakers are blunt. It means the politeness is somewhere an English speaker isn't looking: in the pronoun, the question form, the little 一下, the willingness to acknowledge that you're causing trouble. Once you hear it there, ordinary Chinese conversation stops sounding brusque and starts sounding calibrated — because it is.
See these phrases in real stories
Reading is where the register settles in, because you see who says what to whom. Three free stories in the browser reader show all three faces of 请:
- Lil Jon Orders Lunch — the cashier says 您要点什么，先生？ ("What would you like, sir?") with 您 and a question, no 请 in sight, then closes with 请慢用. That's service register in two sentences.
- Making Dinner — 请妈妈教她: 请 as the plain verb "to ask someone to do something."
- Finding a Way — 请看这个新的 in an apologetic work email. Written and semi-formal is exactly where 请 belongs.
All three are short enough for an upper-beginner, and every word is tappable for a definition and audio. More of the same, sorted by level, is on our Chinese reading practice page, and the request patterns above are broken down as grammar points in the Chinese grammar guide.
Frequently asked questions
Is 请 rude?
Not rude — distant. It's correct in service, formal, and written contexts, and it's the standard on signs and announcements. The problem only appears when you use it with people you're close to, where the formality itself creates a small chill. With friends, drop it; with strangers, prefer 麻烦你 or a question frame.
How do you say "please" at the end of a sentence, like English?
You don't — Chinese has no sentence-final "please." The closest structural equivalents are the tag 好吗？ ("okay?") and a simple 谢谢 after your request. 帮我拿一下，好吗？ and 我要一个这个，谢谢 both land exactly where an English speaker wants "please" to go.
What's the difference between 请 and 麻烦你?
请 issues a polite instruction from a position of standing or formality ("kindly do X"). 麻烦你 acknowledges that you're imposing on someone ("sorry to make you do X"). English "please" covers both, which is why the two feel interchangeable to learners and don't at all to native speakers. When in doubt with a real favor, 麻烦你 is the safer choice.
Do Taiwan and Mainland speakers use "please" differently?
The core words are shared, but the reflexes differ. In Taiwan, 不好意思 is the everyday opener for interruptions and small requests, and 拜托 is extremely common. On the Mainland — especially in the north — 劳驾 appears where a Taiwanese speaker would say 借过 or 不好意思. Both varieties use 请问, 麻烦你 and 可以…吗 identically, so those are your safe defaults anywhere.
How do I say "yes, please" in Chinese?
There's no such phrase — Chinese has no all-purpose "yes" either. You repeat the verb or accept directly: offered tea, you say 好，谢谢 ("okay, thanks") or 要，谢谢 ("yes, thanks"). The wider pattern is in how to say yes and no in Chinese.
